|Season 2, Episode 2|
|Air Date||October 1, 2005|
|Storyboard by||Mike Kenny|
|Written by||Mike Roth|
|Directed by||Lindsey Pollard|
|Hallobeanies||No Beads, No Business|
Meatman (episode) is the second episode of season two and the twenty-eighth episode on the series.
Chef McMuesli is insulted and offended over the campers criticism of his healthy vegetarian cuisine, so he gives a can of potted meat, which has some very unusual properties.
- In addition to his normal blob-like form, here are the forms of the Meat Man takes on:
- Raj: (after the Meat Man traps Lazlo). Hey Mr. Meat Man! Nobody treats my friend that way. If you got a beef to pick with somebody you bring it to me.
- Clam: Stinky meat! (starts hitting the Meat Man with his badminton racket).
- Meat Man: (roars) I guess we don't want to play with you, cause you stink! (mimicking Raj) Oh, hey, let's play badminton instead. Duh! Can I serve first?
- '(the Jelly Beans sit down on the bed. Suddenly they hear a knock on the cabinet door. They hear the knocking to "Shave and a Haircut." Just then, a laser beam comes out and twinkle music plays)
- Clam: Ice cream!
- Lazlo: Wait, Clam! we don't know what...
- Raj: Piñata! (A piñata on a stick sticks out of the cabinet and slips back inside. Raj runs to the cabinet)
- Lazlo: Raj, wait! (Raj opens the doors. "Deck the Halls" plays)
- Raj: (Gasps) You guys! It's Santa Claus!
- Lazlo: Santa Claus? (Raj looks up at a meat figure of Santa Claus)
- Raj: Santa, have you seen a man made of meat in here? (A drop of meat falls on his trunk) No? Well, say hello to Mrs. Claus for me. (He closes the doors and sits back down on the bed and chuckles. An Easter egg pops out of the cabinet. Bright and cheery music plays)
- Clam: Easter! (he opens the closet to reveal a meat statue of the Easter Bunny and closes the doors) Easter Bunny!
- Lazlo: Santa? Easter Bunny? Well, which is it? (he walks over to the closet and opens it to reveal that the Meat Man disguised and posing as a skeleton. The skeleton roars. Undeterred, he closes the closet doors) You guys, it's just a scary monster thing. (He walks over to Raj and Clam) Wait a second. That can't be, there's something very weird going on here. (A piece of meat falls out of Raj's trunk) Raj, do you feel okay? (The scene cuts to the real Raj and Clam sitting on the beds)
- Raj: Yes. I would say that I feel fine. (The fake Raj and Clam melt away, transforming into a hideous, massive, monstrous, and murderous Meat Man)
- Meat Man: So, Lazlo, do you still think I'm stinky, smelly, and stupid?! (Meat Man is ready to eat Lazlo alive)
- Meat Man: Now let's talk about what I want for lunch! (Lazlo becomes scared and Chef McMuesli arrives in with a tall celery spear and came to rescue them)
- Chef McMuesli: Attention, shoppers! Carnivore cleanup on Isle 6!
- Meatman: HUH?!
- Chef McMuesli: That's right, Meat-zilla! I'm talking to you!
- Lazlo: MEAT-HUNTER MCMUSLEI!
- Raj and Clam: Hooray! We're saved! (Chef McMuesli makes a karate sounds and just fooling around. Meatman realizes that McMuesli is wasting his time and spits a meat-bomb on the chef)
- Chef McMuesli: (after Meatman drops a meat-bomb on him) Uh oh! I've been beefed. (he explodes and dies)
- Meat Man: (after he kills Chef McMuesli, laughing evilly) Now where was I? Oh, that's right! I was just about to eat my lunch! (Clam and Raj watch in horror seeing their best friend about to be eaten alive) MM-MMHHHM! (he licks his lips)
- Lazlo: Meat Man, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you stinky, smelly and stupid.
- Meat Man: But that's just how I like my scouts. Stinky, smelly, and stupid! (opens his jaws and eats Lazlo alive) Blahhhh!
- Lazlo: (He screams at the other campers) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!