The scary and terrifying Meatzilla.

Meatman is the 14b episode of second season.


The Jelly Beans make a doll out of canned meat come to life.


In addition to his normal blob-like form, here are the forms Meatman takes on:

1. Santa Claus

2. The Easter Bunny

3. Monster

4. Raj and Clam

5. Baseball Catcher

6. Rhino

7. Pirate and Parrot

8. Cannon

9. Lazlo


Raj: (after Meatman traps Lazlo). Hey Mr. Meatman! Nobody treats my friend that way. If you got a beef to pick with somebody you bring it to me.

Clam: Stinky meat! (starts hitting Meatman with his badminton).

Meatman: (Roars) I guess we don't wanna play with you, cuz you stink! (Mimicing Raj) Oh, hey, let's play batmittin instead. Duh! Can I serve first?

(The Jelly Beans sit down on the bed. Suddenly they hear a knock on the cabinet door. They hear the knocking to "Shave and a Haircut." Just then, a lazer beam comes out and tinkly music plays)

Clam: Ice cream!

Lazlo: Wait, Clam! I am not so sure.

Lazlo: Eww!, I don't think I quite like that smile. (As Meatman frowns slowly)

Raj: Piniata!

(A piniata on a stick sticks out of the cabinet and slips back inside. Raj runs to the cabinet)

Lazlo: Raj! Wait!

(Raj opens the doors. "Deck the Halls" plays)

Raj: (Gasps) You guys! It's Santa Claus!

Lazlo: Santa Claus?

(Raj looks up at a meat figure of Santa Claus)

Raj: Santa, have you seen a man made of meat in here? (A drop of meat falls on his trunk) No? Well, say hello to Mrs. Claus for me. (He closes the doors and sits back down on the bed. An Easter egg bounces out of the cabinet.)

Clam: Easter! (He opens closet to reveal Meatman disguised as the Easter Bunny and closes the doors)
Easter Bunny!

Lazlo: Santa? Easter Bunny? Well, which one do you think is it? (He walks over to the closet and opens it to reveal Meatman disguised as a skeleton. The skeleton roars. Undeterred, he closes the doors) You guys, it's just a scary monster thing. (He walks over to Raj and Clam) Wait a minute. Something very weird is going on today. (A piece of meat falls out of Raj's trunk) Raj, do you feel ok?

(The scene cuts to the real Raj and Clam sitting on the beds)

Raj: Yes. I would say that I feel fine.

(The fake Raj and Clam melt away, transforming into a hideous, massive, monsterous Meatman)

Meatman: So, Lazlo, do you still think I'm stinky, smelly, and stupid?!

(Meatman is ready to eat Lazlo)

(Meatman is thinking about having Lazlo (along with a mashed cannon-meatball and his wrecked bed) for lunch)

Meatman: Now let's talk about what I want for lunch! (Lazlo becomes scared and Chef McMusley arrives in with a tall celery spear and came to the rescue)

Chef McMusley: Attention, shoppers! Carnivore cleanup on Isle 6!

Meatman: HUH?!

Chef McMuesil: That's right, Meat-zilla! I'm talking to you!


Raj and Clam: HOORAY! WE'RE SAVED! (Meatman becomes scared. McMusley makes karate sounds and just fools around. Meatman realizes that McMusley is wasting his time and spits a meat-bomb on the chef)

Chef McMuesil: (After Meatman drops a meat-bomb on him) Uh oh! I've been beefed. (he explodes to his death)

Meatman: (after he kills Chef McMusley) HA HA HA HA! Now where was I? Oh, that's right! I as just about to eat my lunch! (Clam and Raj watch in horror seeing their best friend about to be eaten alive) MM-MMHHHM! (he licks his lips)

Lazlo: Meatman, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you stinky, smelly and stupid.

Meatman: But that's just how I like my scouts. Stinky, smelly, and stupid! (opens his jaws and eats Lazlo alive) Blahhhh!

Lazlo: (He wakes up from his nightmare) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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