"There's No Place Like Gnome" is a Camp Lazlo episode from season 2. In this episode, Edward gets bitten by a wood gnome and worries that they will eat him. To stop this, Lazlo has him pick one of Lumpus' nose hairs.
Plot[]
Edward gets bit by a wood gnome and the Bean Scouts think that if a lonely camper gets bit, they'll live a life of magical wonder by sundown, but Slinkman explains that when a gnome bites a camper, they'll eat him. So Edward has to do something so he won't get eaten.
Music[]
| ( ‣ ) Production music |
| ( • ) Original music |
| ( ◦ ) Camp Lazlo music |
Episode[]
‣ Hopping Along - Patricia Cory [Opening]
‣ Haunted House - Harry Bluestone, Emil Cadkin [The Bean Scouts tell scary stories]
‣ Clown's Walk (B) - Otto Sieben ["Oh, come on already!"]
‣ Creeping Around - Patricia Cory [Lazlo tells the story about the magical wood gnomes]
‣ Kathleen's Jig - John Leach [The rest of the story]
‣ Fatso 2 - Alan Wilson [Edward yells]
‣ On the Prowl - Patricia Cory [Edward walks away]
‣ House of Horror [#10.05] - William Farran [Edward is scared]
‣ Baby Elephant - Dick Walter [Slinkman hears Edward scream]
‣ Bear Cubs (A) - Walt Rockman [The Bean Scouts say Edward was bitten by a wood gnome]
‣ Paddy's Whack - Dennis Farnon [Edward is given a book]
• The Wood Gnome Song - Nicolas Carr [Song about gnomes]
‣ Kathleen's Jig - John Leach [The Bean Scouts celebrate Edward becoming a wood gnome]
‣ Dramatic - Play In - Walter Collins [Slinkman tells the real story about the wood gnomes]
‣ Evil Alien Attack 2 [#19] - Harry Bluestone, Emil Cadkin [Slinkman gets frightened]
• Banjo Lick - Nicolas Carr [Everyone leaves]
‣ Comedy Snatches 8 - Keith Papworth [Edward cries]
‣ Appalachian Banjo Duel - Larry Hochman [Slinkman tells how Edward can prevent being eaten]
‣ Did Anybody Spook 2 - Johnny Hawksworth [Edward is shocked]
‣ Clown in Town - Philippe Pares [Lumpus relaxing]
‣ Link (V) - Patricia Cory [The scouts run away from Edward]
‣ Ballet Shoes [#58] - Edward tries to get a nose hair from Lumpus
‣ Happy Times - Keith Papworth [Edward begs for help]
‣ ? - ? [A pirate ship comes out of the lake]
‣ Goodbye Rodney - Peter Winslow [Edward cries hysterically]
‣ Spring Song - David Hynes, Felix Mendelssohn [Lumpus is asleep]
‣ Link (Y) - Patricia Cory [Lumpus hits a bird]
‣ Link (Q) - Patricia Cory [The bird falls down]
‣ Did Anybody Spook 1 - Johnny Hawksworth [Lumpus puts headphones on]
‣ Haunted House - Harry Bluestone, Emil Cadkin [Creatures appear in the bushes]
‣ Heroes Win 60 - Gregor Narholz [Lazlo and Edward get a nose hair]
• Freight Train (v2) - Andy Paley [Ending]
End credits scene[]
‣ Pub Piano - Andrew Hall [Beginning of the end credits scene]
‣ Paddy's Whack - Dennis Farnon [Rest of the end credits scene]
Trivia[]
General[]
- The song the Jelly Beans sing is sung to the tune of Rossini's "William Tell Overture"
- Edward's doll Veronica appears in this episode.
- This whole episode was basically a long-game prank Slinkman planned on Lumpus.
- Credits: Slinkman talks to the wood gnomes about how he told Edward the things that would happen to him if he got bit by a gnome. Meanwhile, Lumpus is outside being chased by a chair that he used to keep others away.
Goofs[]
- When Edward falls on his back, crying after the other campers won't help him, his head is detached from his body.
- Edward was sleeping in his Bean Scout uniform instead of teal nightgown.
- How did everyone bar the Jelly Beans manage to hang around inside Pinto Cabin without Edward even noticing?
Transcript[]
- (Scoutmaster Lumpus pokes his head out from behind the trees)
- Lumpus: Looks like they're having a campfire, Slinkman. What a perfect time to put together my new Scoutmaster Buddy 3000 Lawn Chair!
- (Slinkman walks in, carrying a lawn chair. The Bean Scouts sit around the fire)
- Dave: And that's what happened to the scouts who lived in the cabin with only one door.
- (Scouts gasp)
- Samson: That's nothing. Did you hear the one about the 500-year-old s'more hidden in the rafters of the Mess Hall?
- Raj: (eating a s'more and realizing) Um...excuse me. (rushes to a shrub to throw up)
- Ping-Pong: And what about the legend of the tree that lost all its leaves?
- Chip: A tree that lost all its leaves?
- Skip: Freaky!
- Edward: Oh, Come on already! I thought the point of a campfire was to tell scary tales. Not fairy tales.
- Lazlo: Oh! Oh! If we're telling fairy stories, can I tell the one about the magical wood gnomes?
- Edward: I would rather read the phone book than to hear about magical wood gnomes. (Lazlo smiles) But you're gonna tell us anyway, aren't you?
- (Lazlo nods his head.)
- Lazlo: The legend has it that the magical wood gnomes have roamed the Pimpleback Mountains for centuries and no one has ever seen them. (He makes shadow puppets of a gnome) But every twenty years, they frolic to Camp Kidney, to choose a lucky Bean Scout to come with them. They bite the leg of the chosen Scout, turning him into an actual wood gnome. (The gnome shadow puppet bites the camper shadow puppet's leg, turning him into a gnome)
- Edward: (Distracted, pretending he didn't hear anything as he flips through the pages in the phonebook) Deborah Dinglehopper. Dennis Dinglehopper. Dingle Dinglehopper.
- (Lazlo grabs Edward by the shoulders and pulls him to his side.)
- Lazlo: (cotd.): And at sundown, they come and whisk him away to a life of magical wonder. (Lazlo sighs).
- Edward: Say, Lazlo, let's get back to telling scary stories. Wanna hear one?
- Lazlo: Okay.
- Edward: YOU PEOPLE ARE MAKING MY HEAD EXPLODE!!! I'm gonna get some cheese for all this baloney.
- (Edward storms off).
- Lazlo: Keep an eye out for any magical wood gnomes, Edward!
- (Edward is walking back through the woods to his cabin).
- Edward: (sarcastically) "Keep your eye out, blah, blah, bloo blah, Edward!" Can't even hear a decent scary story at camp. Wood gnomes! Yeesh!
- (Edward is starting to get very worried as he hears noises coming from the woods).
- Edward: Um... I'm not scared! (Screams at a spider in front of his face, and then a small ant) An ant!
- (He dives into a nearby bush. A chomp is heard and Edward screams. The campers hear the screams)
- Edward: HELP!!! Somethin' bit me!!!
- (He screams again, this time heard by Slinkman inside Lumpus' office.)
- Slinkman: Sounds like a screaming camper in need, sir.
- Lumpus: Wonderful. Perfect timing to try out my Lawn Chair 3000 earplugs!
- (He presses a button which puts a couple of corks into his ears. He sighs contentedly)
- (Back in the woods, Edward is brushing himself off when the other campers run towards him to see what's wrong.)
- Lazlo: Edward! Are you okay?
- Edward: Yeah, yeah. I think somethin' in that bush bit me.
- (All the other campers gasp in awe.)
- Lazlo and Raj: Wood gnome!
- Clam: Magical!
- Edward: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
- Samson: What happened?
- Raj: Edward got bit by a wood gnome!
- Samson: Wow...
- Edward: Wait a minute. I never said wood gnome!
- Chip: What's goin' on?
- Samson: Edward's gonna live the magical life of a wood gnome by sundown!
- Skip: It's so exciting!
- Samson: I'm jealous! Lucky!
- (Edward is fuming with rage.)
- Edward: IT WAS NOT A WOOD GNOME! It was just a big spider or somethin'!
- Lazlo: This is amazing!
- Edward: This is not amazing! It's just a stupid baby fairy tale!
- (He storms off. The other campers sigh, happy for the fate of their fellow Bean Scout.)
- (The next morning, Edward is asleep when he is awakened by the Jelly Beans giggling)
- Lazlo: (Talking in an Irish accent) Rise and shine, me wee laddy gnome!
- (Edward wakes up to see them holding three wood gnomes and screams)
- Lazlo: We've only a few short hours to prepare!
- Edward: Prepare for what?!
- Lazlo: This!
- (He hands Edward a book)
- Edward: (reading aloud) "So You're Going To Be A Gnome".
- Lazlo: It's just a little scrapbook I threw together this morning! A few hundred pages of wood gnome facts, figures and advice! Go ahead, start reading!
- (Edward agitatedly leafs through the book without even looking and throws it away.)
- Lazlo: Done? All right, let's dance!
- Edward: Dance?
- Lazlo: (Singing to the tune of "William Tell Overture") Oh... Giddy is the life of a jolly wood gnome. They have long beards and they love your lawn. They dance little jigs on their little gnome homes. Hooray for the life...of a jolly wood gnome!
- Edward: Great. Can I go now?
- (The Jellies pull him back)
- Raj: Oh... Giddy is the life of a jolly wood gnome.
- Clam: (Puts a cone-shaped hat, a fake beard, and a red tunic on Edward) They wear long beards!
- Lazlo: (rolls out a carpet of grass) And they love your lawn.
- (They place Edward on top of a mushroom)
- All: They do little jigs on their little gnome homes...
- (The camera zooms out, showing all the other scouts dressed as gnomes)
- Everyone: So grand for the life...of a jolly wood gnome!
- (Slinkman, carrying a laundry basket, walks by the cabin)
- Lazlo: It's the gnome song! The song for the gnomes!
- (Slinkman walks into the cabin)
- Lazlo: Hey, Slinkman!
- Slinkman: What's going on?
- Lazlo: It's Edward! He got bit by a jolly wood gnome. By sundown, he'll live a life of magical wonder! You know. (Singing) Giddy is the life of a jolly wood gnome...
- Slinkman: (Gasps) Wait a minute! Jolly wood gnome? No. No. No! That's not how it goes! It's "Beware the teeth of the deadly wood gnomes. They'll bite your leg when you're all alone! Then they'll drag you back to their little gnome home, where they'll boil you for stew till you're nothing but bone!"
- Samson: Oh, my. Look at the time. Catch you later, Ed.
- (Everyone leaves)
- Lazlo: (Crying) Oh! Edward! I'm sorry I got the song wrong, buddy!
- Edward: No! Don't go! I don't want to get eaten! (Buries his face into Slinkman and cries) My final moments are gonna be spent in the mouths of pink-cheeked, bearded miniature mutants that inspired hideous lawn ornaments! How am I gonna explain this to my mother? (Continues crying).
- Slinkman: Well, there may be a way, but it's very difficult.
- Edward: Everything with Mother is difficult.
- Slinkman: No. I mean, to stop the gnomes from eating you.
- Edward: There is? What is it? I'll do anything.
- Slinkman: You only have 'till sunset.
- Edward: Yeah. Go on.
- Slinkman: You must pluck a single nose hair from...
- (Edward pulls out one of his own nose hairs and screams in pain)
- Slinkman: A moose.
- Edward: But the only moose in camp is...
- (He makes a goofy face. Scene cuts to Lumpus resting in his lawn chair outside his office. Samson arrives)
- Samson: Scoutmaster Lumpus?
- Lumpus: What?
- Samson: Can I have a new uniform? 'Cause this one has a snag.
- (Lumpus presses a button on his chair and a speaker comes out)
- Lumpus: (Over loudspeaker) NO!
- Samson: But can't I ignore something so obvious?
- (Lumpus breaks his glasses)
- Raj: Can I get an ice cream sandwich with red and green sprinkles?
- Dung Beetles: Can we have a...
- (Lumpus pushes a button, which puts corks in his ears.)
- Chip: Is that a no?
- (The other scouts surround him. Lumpus' chair grows legs and walks backwards into his office)
- Lumpus: Retreat! Retreat, Retreat!
- (In his office)
- Maybe I should put it in "deflect annoying questions" mode.
- Edward: Can I have one of your nose hairs? Scoutmaster Lumpus?
- (Lumpus kicks him out)
- Samson: Hey, Ed. Love to help you, but you're gonna get eaten. So... See ya.
- (Edward leaves a pie on Lumpus' doorstep. He removes the top, sprinkles pepper inside, puts the top back on and knocks on the door)
- Lumpus: This better be important! (He sees the pie with the tag reading "For Lumpus.") Ooh! A pie for me? (He bites into the pie. Pepper flies everywhere. Edward hands him a tissue)
- Edward: Tissue?
- Lumpus: What? Oh, thank you. (He takes the tissue and sneezes into it. Edward takes the tissue from him)
- Edward: Can you blow again? That one doesn't have any nose hairs.
- (Lumpus presses a button. Out of the chair appears a mallet, which smashes Edward into the porch. He goes to the bathroom)
- Lumpus: Maybe a quick shave will help me relax.
- (Edward comes out of the medicine cabinet)
- Edward: Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom... Nom... Nom... Can I have one of your nose hairs? (Lumpus kicks him out of his office. As Edward walks along the beach, he looks up at the sun setting in the sky) It's almost sunset. (He runs to the Mess Hall) Dave! Ping-Pong! You gotta help me get past Lumpus' scout chair before the gnomes eat me! (The Loons run away. Edward runs to the Dung Beetles) Chip! Skip! My dearest, oldest pals! You gotta help me! (The Dung Beetles run away. Later, Edward meets the Lemmings, swimming in the lake) Oh. Hey there, fellas. We're all gonna go pluck one of Lumpus' nose hairs so I don't get eaten by gnomes. What do you say? (After the Lemmings leave, then a school of fish and a viking ship full of viking skeletons row out of the lake pass by, he lays down on the ground, crying) I don't want to be boiled to the bone!
- (Lazlo arrives)
- Lazlo: (Crying) I'm sorry, buddy! This is all my fault! If only we had a nose hair from Lumpy!
- (Both are now lying on the ground, bawling.)
- Edward: It's no use!
- Lazlo: But can't we just try something together b-before you get boiled?
- (They creep up towards Lumpus, sleeping in his chair)
- Lazlo: (Whispering) See, look. He's asleep.
- Edward: This is never going to work.
- Lazlo: Shh... Don't focus on the negative. Focus on the nose hair. Now reach slowly. There you go, Edward. That's it. (Slowly and very carefully, Edward reaches for Lumpus' nose hairs in the left nostril) Easy… Easy… No, Wait! Grab the big one. (Edward reaches for the long nose hair in the right nostril) There you go.
- Edward: I-I'm getting it!
- Lazlo: That's it, Edward!
- Edward: I'm getting it! Almost… (The sun goes down and the moon comes up) AAH!!! Sunset! The gnomes! (Crying) I-It's too late! (A rustling in the bushes is heard) What's that?
- Lazlo: Just the wind... (Eyes appear in the bushes) And a couple of sets of eyeballs.
- Edward: Oh, no! (Sceaming in terror)
- Lazlo: I'm going in, Edward! Are you with me or not?
- (Edward grabs his hand)
- Edward: Let's do this. (He lunges at Lumpus) Nose hair! (He grabs Lumpus' nose hair. Suddenly, the lawn chair starts to malfunction) Pull! Yeah!
- Lazlo: Go, Edward!
- Lumpus: Get back here! Chair, chair,
- Edward: You want a nose hair, you stupid gnomes?! Here! Take it! (He throws the nose hair at the bushes. The other scouts come out)
- Clam: Edward lives!
- (They lift Edward up onto their shoulders)
- Lazlo and the Other Campers: Hurray for Edward!
- Edward: Hey! When did everyone...
- Lazlo: You did it, Edward! You scared off the gnomes!
- Edward: We did it, Lazlo! I'm not gonna be eaten!
- (As they head back to camp, the lawn chair attacks Lumpus, pointing at his forehead with a laser)
- Lumpus: Uh-oh.
- (An explosion is seen and the scene fades to black)
- (End credits. Slinkman is playing a card game with someone)
- Voice: So, then what happened?
- Slinkman Well, after I convinced them all that gnomes ate campers, Edward yanked out one of the poor boy's nose hairs!
- (It is revealed that Slinkman is hanging out with gnomes and they are laughing at his story)
- Gnome: Oh, you're the best, Slinkman. Only you could pull off a caper of that magnitude.
- Slinkman: Aw, shucks. I...
- (Slinkman's words are drowned out by the sound of Lumpus being chased by his berserk chair)
- Lumpus: Help me, Slinkman! SLINKMAN!!! (keeps running)
| Camp Lazlo Episodes |
|---|
| Season 1 | |||
|---|---|---|---|
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| Episode 1 Gone Fishin' (Sort of) |
Episode 2 Beans Are from Mars |
Episode 3 Snake Eyes |
Episode 4 Racing Slicks |
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| Episode 5 Lights Out |
Episode 6 Swimming Buddy |
Episode 7 Parasitic Pal |
Episode 8 It's No Picnic |
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| Episode 9 The Weakest Link |
Episode 10 Lumpy Treasure |
Episode 11 Tree Hugger |
Episode 12 Marshmallow Jones |
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| Episode 13 Dosey Doe |
Episode 14 Prodigious Clamus |
Episode 15 The Nothing Club |
Episode 16 Loogie Llama |
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| Episode 17 Float Trippers |
Episode 18 The Wig of Why |
Episode 19 Prickly Pining Dining |
Episode 20 Camp Kidney Stinks |
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| Episode 21 Slugfest |
Episode 22 Beans and Weenies |
Episode 23 Beans and Pranks |
Episode 24 Movie Night |
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| Episode 25 The Big Cheese |
Episode 26 Campers All Pull Pants |
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| Season 2 | |||
|---|---|---|---|
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| Episode 1 Hallobeanies |
Episode 2 Meatman |
Episode 3 No Beads, No Business |
Episode 4 Miss Fru Fru |
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| Episode 5 Parent's Day |
Episode 6 Club Kidney-Ki |
Episode 7 Handy Helper |
Episode 8 Love Sick |
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| Episode 9 Hello Dolly |
Episode 10 Over Cooked Beans |
Episode 11 The Battle of Pimpleback Mountain |
Episode 12 Dead Bean Drop |
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| Episode 13 I've Never Bean in a Sub |
Episode 14 The Great Snipe Hunt |
Episode 15 Burpless Bean |
Episode 16 Slap Happy |
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| Episode 17 Snow Beans |
Episode 18 Irreconcilable Dungferences |
Episode 19 Mascot Madness |
Episode 20 Tomato Paste |
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| Episode 21 Camp Samson |
Episode 22 Beany Weenies |
Episode 23 There's No Place Like Gnome |
Episode 24 Hot Spring Fever |
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| Episode 25 Hello Summer, Goodbye Camp | |||
| Season 3 | |||
|---|---|---|---|
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| Episode 1 7 Deadly Sandwiches |
Episode 2 The Big Weigh In |
Episode 3 Hard Days Samson |
Episode 4 Waiting for Edward |
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| Episode 5 Beans in Toyland |
Episode 6 Where's Clam |
Episode 7 Bowling for Dinosaurs |
Episode 8 Squirrel Seats |
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| Episode 9 Creepy Crawly Campy |
Episode 10 Sweet Dream Baby |
Episode 11 Dirt Nappers |
Episode 12 Spacemates |
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| Episode 13 Temper Tee Pee |
Episode 14 Lazlo Loves a Parade |
Episode 15 Are You There S.M.I.T.S? It's Me Samson |
Episode 16 Tusk Wizard |
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| Episode 17 Squirrel Scout Slinkman |
Episode 18 Bear-l-y a Vacation |
Episode 19 Radio Free Edward |
Episode 20 Valentine's Day |
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| Episode 21 A Job Well Dung |
Episode 22 The Bean Tree |
Episode 23 Taking Care of Gretchen |
Episode 24 Scoop of the Century |
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| Episode 25 Boxing Edward | |||
| Season 4 | |||
|---|---|---|---|
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| Episode 1 Strange Trout from Outer Space |
Episode 2 Cheese Orbs |
Episode 3 Hold It Lazlo |
Episode 4 Being Edward |
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| Episode 5 Award to the Wise |
Episode 6 Cave Chatter |
Episode 7 Ed's Benedict |
Episode 8 The Book of Slinkman |
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| Episode 9 Never Bean on the Map |
Episode 10 Harold and Raj |
Episode 11 Lumpus vs. the Volcano |
Episode 12 Nursemaster |
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| Episode 13 Dungs in Candyland |
Episode 14 Tour Wars |
Episode 15 Lazlo's First Crush |
Episode 16 Livin' La Vida Lumpus |
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| Episode 17 Samson's Mail Fraud |
Episode 18 The Haunted Coffee Table |
Episode 19 Friendward |
Episode 20 Camp Dinkey |
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| Episode 21 Doting Doe-Eyed Deerest |
Episode 22 Clown Camp |
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| Season 5 | |||
|---|---|---|---|
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| Episode 1 Edward's Big Bag |
Episode 2 The List |
Episode 3 Camp Complain |
Episode 4 The Engagement |
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| Episode 5 Call Me Almondine |
Episode 6 Clam the Outlaw |
Episode 7 Penny for Your Dung |
Episode 8 Baby Bean |
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| Episode 9 Bad Luck Be a Camper Tonight |
Episode 10 Step Clam |
Episode 11 S Is for Crazy |
Episode 12 Samson Needs a Hug |
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| Episode 13 Wedding Bell Blues |
Episode 14 O Brother, Who Art Thou |
Episode 15 Peace Frog |
Episode 16 Lumpus' Last Stand |
| Specials | |||
|---|---|---|---|
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| Where's Lazlo? | Kamp Kringle | ||
| Shorts | |||
|---|---|---|---|
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| Episode 1 Empty Nest |
Episode 2 The Eternal Flame |
Episode 3 Nudist Camp |
Episode 4 Hiccups |
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| Episode 5 Survival of the Lamest |
Episode 6 Marooned Maroons |
Episode 7 Tales from the Campfire |
Episode 8 Mail Dominance |
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| Episode 9 Outhouse on Haunted Hill |
Episode 10 Laid Off Lumpus |
Episode 11 My Brother's Eater |
Episode 12 Hair And Gone |
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| Episode 13 Mi Casa, Eew Casa |
Episode 14 The Amazing Race |
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