Camp Lazlo Wiki
Camp Lazlo Wiki

There's No Place Like Gnome
Edaward gnome.jpg
Season 2, Episode 23
Production Information
Air DateJune 23, 2006
Storyboard byStephanie Erdel
Written byMike Roth
Stephanie Erdel
Directed byBrian Sheesley
Episode Guide
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Beany WeeniesHot Spring Fever

There's No Place Like Gnome is the twenty-third episode of season two and the episode on the series.


Edward gets bitten by a wood gnome and worries that they will eat him. To stop this, Lazlo has him pick one of Lumpus' nose hairs.


Edward gets bit by a wood gnome and the Bean Scouts think that if a lonely camper gets bit, they'll live a life of magical wonder by sundown, but Slinkman explains that when a gnome bites a camper, they'll eat him. So Edward has to do something so he won't get eaten.


  • The song the Jelly Beans sing is sung to the tune of Rossini's "William Tell Overture"
  • Edward's doll Veronica appears in this episode.
  • Why was Edward sleeping in his Bean Scout uniform? Usually he wears a teal nightgown.
  • How did everyone bar the Jelly Beans manage to hang around inside Pinto Cabin without Edward even noticing?
    • Goofs: When Edward falls on his back, crying after the other campers won't help him, his head is detached from his body.
  • Credits: Slinkman talks to the wood gnomes about how he told Edward the things that would happen to him if he got bit by a gnome. Meanwhile, Lumpus is outside being chased by a chair that he used to keep others away.


(Scoutmaster Lumpus pokes his head out from behind the trees)
Lumpus: Looks like they're having a campfire, Slinkman. What a perfect time to try out my new Scoutmaster Buddy 3000 Lawn Chair!
(Slinkman walks in, carrying a lawn chair. The Bean Scouts sit around the fire)
Dave: And that's what happened to the scouts who lived in the cabin with only one door.
(Scouts gasp)
Samson: That's nothing. Did you hear the one about the 500-year-old s'more hidden in the rafters of the Mess Hall?
Raj: (eating a s'more and realizing) Um...excuse me. (rushes to a shrub to throw up
Ping-Pong: Or what about the legend of the tree that lost all its leaves?
Chip: A tree that lost all its leaves?
Skip: Freaky!
Edward: Oh, Come on already! I thought the point of a campfire was to tell scary tales. Not fairy tales.
Lazlo: Oh! Oh! If we're telling fairy stories, can I tell the one about the magical wood gnomes?
Edward: I would rather read the phone book than to hear about magical wood gnomes. (Lazlo smiles) But you're gonna tell us anyway, aren't you?
(Lazlo nods his head.)
Lazlo: The legend has it that the magical wood gnomes have roamed the Pimpleback Mountains for centuries and no one has ever seen them. (He makes shadow puppets of a gnome) But every twenty years, they frolic to Camp Kidney, looking for a scout to join them. They bite the leg of the chosen Scout, turning him into an actual wood gnome. (The gnome shadow puppet bites the camper shadow puppet's leg, turning him into a gnome)
Edward: (Distracted, pretending he didn't hear anything as he flips through the pages in the phonebook) Debra Dinglehopper. Dennis Dinglehopper. Dingle Dinglehopper.
(Lazlo grabs Edward by the shoulders and pulls him to his side.)
Lazlo: (cotd.): And at sunset, they come and whisk him away to a life of magical wonder.
Edward: Say, Lazlo, let's get back to telling scary stories. Wanna hear one?
Lazlo: Okay.
Edward: YOU PEOPLE ARE MAKING MY HEAD EXPLOOOODE!!! I'm gonna get some cheese for all this baloney.
(Edward storms off).
Lazlo: Keep an eye out for any magical wood gnomes, Edward!
Edward is walking back through the woods to his cabin.
Edward: (sarcastically) "Keep your eye out, blah, blah, bloo blah, Edward!" Can't even hear a decent scary story at camp. Wood gnomes! Yeesh!
(Edward is starting to get very worried as he hears noises coming from the woods).
Edward: Um... I'm not scared! (Screams at a spider in front of his face, and then a small ant) An ant!
(He dives into a nearby bush. A chomp is heard and Edward screams. The campers hear the screams)
Edward: HELP! Somethin' bit me!!
(He screams again, this time heard by Slinkman inside Lumpus' office.)
Slinkman: Sounds like a screaming camper in need, sir.
Lumpus: Wonderful. Perfect timing to try out my Lawn Chair 3000 earplugs!
(He presses a button which puts a couple of corks into his ears. He sighs contentedly)
(Back in the woods, Edward is brushing himself off when the other campers run towards him to see what's wrong.)
Lazlo: Edward! Are you okay?
Edward: Yeah, yeah. I think somethin' in that bush bit me.
(All the other campers gasp in awe.)
Lazlo and Raj: Wood gnome!
Clam: Magical!
Edward: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Samson: What happened?
Raj: Edward got bit by a wood gnome!
Samson: Wow...
Edward: Wait a minute. I never said wood gnome!
Chip: What's goin' on?
Samson: Edward's gonna live the magical life of a wood gnome by sundown!
Skip: It's so exciting!
Samson: I'm jealous! Lucky!
(Edward is fuming with rage.)
Edward: IT WAS NOT A WOOD GNOME! It was just a big spider or somethin'!
Lazlo: This is amazing!
Edward: This is not amazing! It's just a stupid baby fairy tale!
(He storms off. The other campers sigh, happy for the fate of their fellow Bean Scout.)
(The next morning, Edward is asleep when he is awakened by the Jelly Beans giggling)
Lazlo: (Talking in an Irish accent) Rise and shine, me wee laddy gnome!
(Edward wakes up to see them holding three wood gnomes and screams)
Lazlo: We have only a few short hours to prepare!
Edward: Prepare for what?!
Lazlo: This!
(He hands Edward a book)
Edward: (reading aloud) "So You're Going To Be A Gnome".
Lazlo: It's just a little scrapbook I threw together this morning! A few hundred pages of wood gnome facts, figures and advice! Go ahead, start reading!
(Edward agitatedly leafs through the book without even looking and throws it away.)
Lazlo: Done? All right, let's dance!
Edward: Dance?
Lazlo: (Singing to the tune of "William Tell Overture") Oh... Giddy is the life of a jolly wood gnome. They have long beards and they love your lawn. They dance little jigs on their little gnome homes. Hooray for the life...of a jolly wood gnome!
Edward: Great. Can I go now?
(The Jellies pull him back)
Raj: Oh... Giddy is the life of a jolly wood gnome.
Clam: (Puts a cone-shaped hat, a fake beard, and a red tunic on Edward) They wear long beards!
Lazlo: (rolls out a carpet of grass) And they love your lawn.
(They place Edward on top of a mushroom)
All: They do little jigs on their little gnome homes...
(The camera zooms out, showing all the other scouts dressed as gnomes)
Everyone: So grand for the life...of a jolly wood gnome!
(Slinkman, carrying a laundry basket, walks by the cabin)
Lazlo: It's the gnome song! The song for the gnomes!
(Slinkman walks into the cabin)
Lazlo: Hey, Slinkman!
Slinkman: What's going on?
Lazlo: It's Edward! He got bit by a jolly wood gnome. By sundown, he'll live a life of magical wonder! You know. (Singing) Giddy is the life of a jolly wood gnome...
Slinkman: (Gasps) Wait a minute! Jolly wood gnome? No. No. No! That's not how it goes! It's "Beware the teeth of the deadly wood gnomes. They'll bite your leg when you're all alone! Then they'll drag you back to their little gnome home, where they'll boil you for stew till you're nothing but bone!"
Samson: Oh, my. Look at the time. Catch you later, Ed.
(Everyone leaves)
Lazlo: (Crying) No! Edward! I'm sorry I got the song wrong, buddy!
Edward: No! Don't go! I don't wanna get eaten! (Buries his face into Slinkman and cries) My final moments are gonna be spent in the mouths of pink-cheeked, bearded miniature mutants that inspired hideous lawn ornaments! How am I gonna explain this to my mother?
Slinkman: Well, there may be a way, but it's very difficult.
Edward: Everything with Mother is difficult.
Slinkman: No. I mean, to stop the gnomes from eating you.
Edward: There is? What is it? I'll do anything.
Slinkman: You only got until sunset.
Edward: Yeah. Go on.
Slinkman: You must pluck a single nose hair from...
(Edward pulls out one of his own nose hairs and screams in pain)
Slinkman: A moose.
Edward: But the only moose in camp is...
(He makes a goofy face. Scene cuts to Lumpus resting in his lawn chair outside his office. Samson arrives)
Samson: Scoutmaster Lumpus?
Lumpus: What?
Samson: Can I have a new uniform? Because this one has a snag.
(Lumpus presses a button on his chair and a speaker comes out)
Lumpus: (Over loudspeaker) NO!
Samson: But can't I ignore something so obvious?
(Lumpus breaks his glasses)
Raj: Can I get an ice cream sandwich with red and green sprinkles?
Dung Beetles: Can we get a...
(Lumpus pushes a button, which puts corks in his ears.)
Chip: Is that a no?
(The other scouts surround him. Lumpus' chair grows legs and walks backwards into his office)
Lumpus: Retreat! Retreat!
(In his office)
Maybe I should put it in "annoying deflect" mode.
Edward: Can I have one of your nose hairs? Scoutmaster Lumpus?
(Lumpus kicks him out)
Samson: Hey, Ed. Love to help you, but you're going to get eaten. So... See ya.
(Edward leaves a pie on Lumpus' doorstep. He removes the top, sprinkles pepper inside, puts the top back on and knocks on the door)
Lumpus: This better be important! (He sees the pie with the tag reading "For Lumpus.") Ooh! A pie for me? (He bites into the pie. Pepper flies everywhere. Edward hands him a tissue)
Edward: Tissue?
Lumpus: What? Oh, thank you. (He takes the tissue and sneezes into it. Edward takes the tissue from him)
Edward: Can you blow again? That one doesn't have any nose hairs.
(Lumpus presses a button. Out of the chair appears a mallet, which smashes Edward into the porch. He goes to the bathroom)
Lumpus: Maybe a quick shave will help me relax.
(Edward comes out of the medicine cabinet)
Edward: Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom... Nom... Nom... Can I have one of your nose hairs? (Lumpus kicks him out of his office. As Edward walks along the beach, he looks up at the sun setting in the sky) It's almost sunset. (He runs to the Mess Hall) Dave! Ping-Pong! You gotta help me get past Lumpus' scout chair before the gnomes eat me! (The Loons run away. Edward runs to the Dung Beetles) Chip! Skip! My dearest, oldest pals! You gotta help me! (The Dung Beetles run away. Later, Edward meets the Lemmings, swimming in the lake) Oh. Hey there, fellas. We're gonna go pick one of Lumpus' nose hairs so I don't get eaten by gnomes. What do you say? (After the Lemmings leave, then a school of fish and a viking ship full of viking skeletons row out of the lake pass by, he lays down on the ground, crying) I don't wanna get boiled to the bone!
(Lazlo arrives)
Lazlo: (Crying) I'm sorry, buddy! This is all my fault! If only we had a nose hair from Lumpy!
(Both are now lying on the ground, bawling.)
Edward: It's no use!
Lazlo: But can't we try something together b-b-before you get boiled?
(They creep up towards Lumpus, sleeping in his chair)
Lazlo: (Whispering) Look. He's asleep.
Edward: This is never going to work.
Lazlo: Shh... Don't focus on the negative. Focus on the nose hair. Now reach slowly. (Slowly and very carefully, Edward reaches for Lumpus' nose hairs in the left nostril) No! Wait! Grab the big one. (Edward reaches for the long nose hair in the right nostril) There you go!
Edward: I... I'm getting it!
Lazlo: That's it, Edward!
Edward: I'm getting it! (The sun goes down and the moon comes up) AAH!!! Sunset! The gnomes! (Crying) It... It's too late! (A rustling in the bushes is heard) Wh-what's that?
Lazlo: Just the wind... (Eyes appear in the bushes) And a couple of sets of eyeballs.
Edward: Oh, no! (Sceaming in terror)
Lazlo: I'm going in, Edward!
(Edward grabs his hand)
Edward: Let's do this. (He lunges at Lumpus) Nose hair! (He grabs Lumpus' nose hair. Suddenly, the lawn chair starts to malfunction)
Lazlo: Go, Edward!
Edward: You want a nose hair, you stupid gnomes?! Here! Take it! (He throws the nose hair at the bushes. The other scouts come out)
Clam: Edward lives!
(They lift Edward up onto their shoulders)
Lazlo and the Other Campers: Hooray for Edward!
Edward: Hey! When did everyone...
Lazlo: You did it, Edward! You scared off the gnomes!
Edward: We did it, Lazlo! I'm not gonna be eaten!
(As they head back to camp, the lawn chair attacks Lumpus, pointing at his forehead with a laser)
Lumpus: Uh-oh.
(An explosion is seen and the scene fades to black)
(End credits. Slinkman is playing a card game with someone)
Voice: So, then what happened?
Slinkman Well, after I convinced them all that gnomes ate campers, Edward yanked out one of the poor boy's nose hairs!
(It is revealed that Slinkman is hanging out with gnomes and they are laughing at his story)
Gnome: Oh, you're the best, Slinkman. Only you could pull off a caper of that magnitude.
Slinkman: Aw, shucks. I...
(Slinkman's words are drowned out by the sound of Lumpus being chased by his berserk chair)
Lumpus: Help me, Slinkman! SLINKMAN!!! (keeps running)

Camp Lazlo Episodes
Season 1
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Episode 1
Gone Fishin' (Sort of)
Episode 2
Beans Are from Mars
Episode 3
Snake Eyes
Episode 4
Racing Slicks
Lights out 09.jpg Swimming buddy 010.jpg Parasitic pal 05.jpg Its no picnic.jpg
Episode 5
Lights Out
Episode 6
Swimming Buddy
Episode 7
Parasitic Pal
Episode 8
It's No Picnic
Weakest link 056.jpg Raj getting bitten.jpg Jellies tree.jpg Raj marshmallow.jpg
Episode 9
The Weakest Link
Episode 10
Lumpy Treasure
Episode 11
Tree Hugger
Episode 12
Marshmallow Jones
Shin dootenannebaloo.jpg Clam genius.jpg Lazlo nothing club.jpg Beans scouts llama.jpg
Episode 13
Dosey Doe
Episode 14
Prodigious Clamus
Episode 15
The Nothing Club
Episode 16
Loogie Llama
Raj retainer.jpg Lazlo predictible wig.jpg Beef Lumber jacks.jpg Stinky bean scouts.jpg
Episode 17
Float Trippers
Episode 18
The Wig of Why
Episode 19
Prickly Pining Dining
Episode 20
Camp Kidney Stinks
Lumpus slinkman slugfest.jpg Jellies cooks.jpg Slinkman prank.jpg MovieNight.png
Episode 21
Episode 22
Beans and Weenies
Episode 23
Beans and Pranks
Episode 24
Movie Night
Lumpus cheese.jpg Raj boxers.png
Episode 25
The Big Cheese
Episode 26
Campers All Pull Pants
Season 2
Hallobeanies.jpg Scary meatman.jpg No beads no business 10.jpg Miss fru fru 04.jpg
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
No Beads, No Business
Episode 4
Miss Fru Fru
Lazlo raj lumpus parents.jpg Slinkman luau.jpg Slinkman handy helper badge.jpg Clam love sick.jpg
Episode 5
Parent's Day
Episode 6
Club Kidney-Ki
Episode 7
Handy Helper
Episode 8
Love Sick
HelloDolly.png OverCookedBeans.jpg Pimpleback mountain.jpg Slinkman super slug.jpg
Episode 9
Hello Dolly
Episode 10
Over Cooked Beans
Episode 11
The Battle of Pimpleback Mountain
Episode 12
Dead Bean Drop
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Episode 13
I've Never Bean in a Sub
Episode 14
The Great Snipe Hunt
Episode 15
Burpless Bean
Episode 16
Slap Happy
Snow beans 024.jpg Dung beetles arguing.jpg Edward duke of lice.jpg Tomato paste.jpg
Episode 17
Snow Beans
Episode 18
Irreconcilable Dungferences
Episode 19
Mascot Madness
Episode 20
Tomato Paste
Camp samson yearbook.jpg Obstacle course.jpg Edaward gnome.jpg Samson raj hot spring.jpg
Episode 21
Camp Samson
Episode 22
Beany Weenies
Episode 23
There's No Place Like Gnome
Episode 24
Hot Spring Fever
Episode 25
Hello Summer, Goodbye Camp
Season 3
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Episode 1
7 Deadly Sandwiches
Episode 2
The Big Weigh In
Episode 3
Hard Days Samson
Episode 4
Waiting for Edward
Clam toys trailer.jpg Raj clam invisible.jpg Bowling alley.jpg Bean scouts squirrel scouts terrified.jpg
Episode 5
Beans in Toyland
Episode 6
Where's Clam
Episode 7
Bowling for Dinosaurs
Episode 8
Squirrel Seats
Raj bugs.jpg Lumpus sleeping.jpg Dung beetles sleepy.jpg Nina dung beetles.jpg
Episode 9
Creepy Crawly Campy
Episode 10
Sweet Dream Baby
Episode 11
Dirt Nappers
Episode 12
Edward chef mcmuesli temper tee pee.jpg Bean scout parade float.jpg Samson.jpg Tusk Wizard
Episode 13
Temper Tee Pee
Episode 14
Lazlo Loves a Parade
Episode 15
Are You There S.M.I.T.S? It's Me Samson
Episode 16
Tusk Wizard
Sss 053.png Bear juggling.jpg Edward radio station.jpg Lazlo patsy valentine.jpg
Episode 17
Squirrel Scout Slinkman
Episode 18
Bear-l-y a Vacation
Episode 19
Radio Free Edward
Episode 20
Valentine's Day
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Episode 21
A Job Well Dung
Episode 22
The Bean Tree
Episode 23
Taking Care of Gretchen
Episode 24
Scoop of the Century
Edward mailed out of camp.jpg
Episode 25
Boxing Edward
Season 4
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Episode 1
Strange Trout from Outer Space
Episode 2
Cheese Orbs
Episode 3
Hold It Lazlo
Episode 4
Being Edward
AttW.png Vlcsnap-2015-03-07-18h56m12s194.png Screen Shot 2015-02-03 at 17.06.56.png BoS.jpg
Episode 5
Award to the Wise
Episode 6
Cave Chatter
Episode 7
Ed's Benedict
Episode 8
The Book of Slinkman
NBotM.png H&R.png Pielumpy.jpg Lumpusintosamson.JPG
Episode 9
Never Bean on the Map
Episode 10
Harold and Raj
Episode 11
Lumpus vs. the Volcano
Episode 12
Vlcsnap-2012-07-22-10h08m41s44.png TourWars.png Camp Lazlo.jpg Imitatinglumpus.jpg
Episode 13
Dungs in Candyland
Episode 14
Tour Wars
Episode 15
Lazlo's First Crush
Episode 16
Livin' La Vida Lumpus
Untitled.jpg Boom.jpg Friendward.png CampDinkey.png
Episode 17
Samson's Mail Fraud
Episode 18
The Haunted Coffee Table
Episode 19
Episode 20
Camp Dinkey
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Episode 21
Doting Doe-Eyed Deerest
Episode 22
Clown Camp
Season 5
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Episode 1
Edward's Big Bag
Episode 2
The List
Episode 3
Camp Complain
Episode 4
The Engagement
CMA.jpeg IMG 9639.png Lazlosheadexplodes.jpg BabyBean.jpg
Episode 5
Call Me Almondine
Episode 6
Clam the Outlaw
Episode 7
Penny for Your Dung
Episode 8
Baby Bean
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Episode 9
Bad Luck Be a Camper Tonight
Episode 10
Step Clam
Episode 11
S Is for Crazy
Episode 12
Samson Needs a Hug
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Episode 13
Wedding Bell Blues
Episode 14
O Brother, Who Art Thou
Episode 15
Peace Frog
Episode 16
Lumpus's Last Stand