There's No Place Like Gnome

Edward disguised as a jolly wood gnome.

There's No Place Like Gnome is the episode 24a of second season.

Plot

Edward gets bit by a wood gnome and the Bean Scouts think that if a lonely camper gets bit, they'll live a life of magical wonder by sundown, but Slinkman explains that when a gnome bites a camper, they'll eat him. So Edward has to do something so he won't get eaten.

Trivia

Credits: Slinkman talks to the wood gnomes about how he told Edward the things that would happen to him if he got bit by a gnome. Meanwhile, Lumpus is outside being chased by a chair that he used to keep others away.

The song the Jelly Beans sing is sung to the tune of Rossini's "William Tell Overture"

Notes

Edward's doll Veronica appears in this episode.

Goofs

• When Edward falls on his back, crying after the other campers won't help him, his head is detached from his body.
• In the song the Jelly Bean Scouts sing, Lazlo sings "They dance little jigs on their little gnome homes." when the closed captioning reads "They dance little jigs in their little gnome homes." which is a possible goof.

Quotes

Edward: I would rather read the phone book than to hear about...(in sarcastic voice) magical wood gnomes!!!(Lazlo smiles) But you're gonna tell us anyway?

(Lazlo nods his head.)

Lazlo: (Singing to the tune of "William Tell Overture") Oh...Giddy is the life of a jolly wood gnome. They have long beards and they love your lawn. They dance little jigs on their little gnome homes. Hooray for the life...of a jolly wood gnome!

Edward: Great. Can I go now?

(The Jellies pull him back)

Raj: Oh...Giddy is the life of a jolly wood gnome.

Clam: (Puts a cone-shaped hat, a fake beard, and a red tunic on Edward) They wear long beards!

Lazlo: (rolls out a carpet of grass) And they love your lawn.

(They place Edward on top of a mushroom)

All: They do little jigs on their little gnome homes...

Everyone: So grand for the life...of a jolly wood gnome!

(Slinkman walks by the cabin)

Lazlo: It's the gnome song! The song for the gnomes!

(Slinkman walks into the cabin)

Lazlo: Hey, Slinkman!

Slinkman: What's going on here?

Lazlo: It's Edward! He got bit by a jolly wood gnome. By sundown, he'll live a life of magical wonder! You know. (Singing) Giddy is the life of a jolly wood gnome...

Slinkman: (Gasps) Wait a second! Jolly wood gnome? No. No. No. That's not how it goes! It's "Beware the teeth of the deadly wood gnomes. They'll bite your leg when you're all alone! And they'll drag you back to their little gnome home, where they'll boil you for stew until you're nothing but bone!"

Samson: Oh, my. Look at the time. Catch you later, Ed.

(Everyone leaves)

Lazlo: (Crying) No! Edward! I'm sorry I got the song wrong, buddy!

Edward: No! Don't go! I don't wanna get eaten! (Crying) My final moments are gonna be spent in the mouths of pink-cheeked, bearded miniature mutants that inspired hideous lawn ornaments! How am I gonna explain this to my mother?

Slinkman: Well, there may be a way, but it's very difficult.

Edward: Everything with Mother is difficult.

Slinkman: No. I mean, to stop the gnomes from eating you.

Edward: There is? What is it? I'll do anything.

Slinkman: You only got until sunset.

Edward: Yeah. Go on.

Slinkman: You must pluck a single nose hair from...

(Edward pulls out one of his own nose hairs and screams in pain)

Slinkman: A moose.

Edward: But the only moose in camp is...

(He makes a goofy face. Scene cuts to Lumpus resting in his lawn chair outside his office. Samson arrives)

Samson: Scoutmaster Lumpus?

'Lumpus:' What?

Samson: Can I have a new uniform? Because this one has a snag.

(Lumpus presses a button on his chair and a speaker comes out)

Lumpus: (Over loudspeaker) NO!

Samson: But can't I ignore something so obvious?

(Lumpus breaks his glasses)

Raj: Can I get an ice cream sandwich with red and green sprinkles?

Dung Beetles: Can we get a...

(Lumpus pushes a button, which puts corks in his ears.)

Chip: Is that a no?

(The other scouts surround him. Lumpus' chair grows legs and walks backwards into his office)

Lumpus: Retreat! Retreat!

(In his office)

Maybe I should put it in "annoying deflect" mode.

Edward: Scoutmaster Lumpus?

(Lumpus kicks him out)

Samson: Hey, Ed. Love to help you, but you're going to get eaten. So... See ya.

(Edward leaves a pie on Lumpus' doorstep. He removes the top, sprinkles pepper inside, puts the top back on and knocks on the door)

Lumpus: This better be important! (He sees the pie with the tag reading "For Lumpus.") Ooh! A pie for me? (He bites into the pie. Pepper flies everywhere. Edward hands him a tissue)

Edward: Tissue?

Lumpus: What? Oh, thank you. (He takes the tissue and sneezes into it. Edward takes the tissue from him)

Edward: Can you blow again? That one doesn't have any nose hairs.